Friday, January 18, 2013

Vicious & Wreck: Road Trip (Part 2)

I can hear you all think to yourselves, finally!, and Dear Readers, I don't blame you.  Here is the long overdue conclusion of the recap of the road trip we took six months ago!

Day 2

Fort Bragg is adorable.  Did you know that?  My coworker K never seemed to mention that, but look at the evidence:
We bought socks at a place called Pippi Longstockings
We at breakfast at a Wizard of OZ (book) themed restaurant called Egghead's
We browsed around the Triangle Tattoo & Museum

Our experience at Egghead's rather epitomizes our eating adventures.  Both of us were ravenous by the time we got seated and then we both stared at the menu for ages – really, we only wanted basic things, but we kept getting sidetracked by the dishes with theme names like, Ruby Slipper Scramble, or Aunt Em's Potatoes, or whatever.  I think I finally ended up with a special which was nearly identical to a non-theme-named omelette I had my eye on, but had Flying Monkeys in the title.  The food was awesome.  And, at the end of the meal, I followed the Yellow Brick Road out of the back, and to a bathroom in a separate small building labeled "The Emerald City."  So rad.

After breakfast, we were on the road again.  Shortly after we left Fort Bragg, we discovered "Perfect Beach."  We have no idea what this beach was called, but weather was amazing and the coast line was nearly empty with mist rising off the waves.  We basked for a bit, Vicious recorded some wave sounds, and then we kept on heading north, winding our way back in-land.

This part of HWY-1 was beautiful in a totally different way than the first day.  It was just as empty, but now we were weaving in and out of trees rather than beach towns.  As we got further into the trees, little shacks started popping up here and there, complete with collections of rusty tools and old tractors.  We dubbed these buildings "Murder Shacks" and did not stop to investigate.

When we finally met back up with 101 we were in Leggett and so we headed for the Drive Thru Tree.  I let Vicious drive so I could take pictures; I'll never live down the fact that I trusted Vicious – Vicious – enough to drive my car – a car – through a tree – a tree.*

We got out to walk around a meadow and pond, and then wandered into the woods to record nature sounds.  The redwoods were immense, and the day was warm, and for a while we could hear the buzz of traffic.  Then suddenly everything went quiet, and just like Merry and Pippin in Fangorn: "A queer stifling feeling came over them, as if the air was too thin or too scanty for breathing."  We said goodbye to the trees and headed back to the car.

Did you know that this part of Northern California gets really weird.  Like freaky weird?  On the way to the Avenue of the Giants, we tried to stop and use the bathroom at a tourist trap (of which there is one ever few miles on 101 at this point).  This one had chainsaw art outside and a house built into a tree.  We entered the gift shop and there was a man talking to the woman behind the counter, and he said, "I had to shove it back inside my body, it was like water balloons of blood."  Vicious and I looked at each other and high-tailed it back to the car.  We used the bathroom at Confusion Hill (home of a Chickalope?!) instead.

After driving through the beautiful Avenue of the Giants, we realized we were starving and headed back toward "civilization."  We passed through Willits, where we could have stayed in a Teepee (the possibility was discussed), and ended up scarfing down Thai and finding a motel in Ukiah (where I may or may not have been super snarky to the hotel clerk, who I'm pretty sure thought Vicious and I were a really weird lesbian couple).

It was the night before Vicious' 30th.  We sat with our feet in the bathtub, and talked about Serial Killers, German Cannibals, and British men with black hair.

Day 3

We decided to spend Vicious' birthday in Wine Country, which is amusing because Vicious no longer drinks, but we had this idea that we needed to go to Yountville and check out all the fancy restaurants.  On the way, we stopped in Geyserville to grab some caffeine, and then we got dristracted for a very long time in this amazing Vintage shop.  While we were at the coffee shop, however, the best exchange happend:

Barista: Do you two know where Coppola Winery is?
Me: Um...
Barista: Oh, are you guys old enough to drink?
Vicious: It's my 30th birthday today! THANK YOU.

From there we wandered into St Helena, and decided that we required ice cream.  We found this place right off the main street called The Big Dipper, and it was run by two gay vampires (probably), who would not take off their sunglasses while they were behind the counter, and told Vicious that the sorbet was too cold.  She gave them a filthy and went, "yeah, it's supposed to be cold." And then we found some benches under an archway at a church to enjoy our treats (where Vicious inadvertently solidified by vision of her as Halleluiah from The Hold Steady album Separation Sunday).

After St Helena, we headed to Yountville and I nearly died of bliss eating a macaron from Bouchon Bakery, and we wandered over to an old grave yard where Vicious took a picture of my ass me looking at an old headstone.  Neither of us were drinking on this trip, but we decided to go look at Chandon, because Vicious has a celebrity crush on the head chef there? I think? I'm a little fuzzy on the details – I was still in a bliss coma from the macarons.

We rounded our final day in Sonoma, eating a stupid early dinner at a the Swiss Hotel Bar and Restaurant, since we are both bad at eating regular meals despite the fact that Vicious turns crazy without food, and I just sort of wither into a grumpy mess.  We also found a few super cute shops, where Vicious picked out an amazing star dress.

And as we headed back to the Peninsula, we played Yellow Car (you're always playing Yellow Car), and were tired, but still felt amazing.  Because how many friends do you have that you can spend 36 hours with continually – most of which are spent in a car or hotel?  If you do have friends like that, don't let them go.  They are amazing, and you should be leaving for adventures with them right now.

*Please forgive the indulgence, but I had to work in a Cabin Pressure reference here – it was just too good to pass up.  For the record, this is a reference to Ottery St. Mary (series 3, episode 4).

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